A virgin bride attacked her footballer husband on their honeymoon because of his “anaconda” penis, Daily Star, a South African online medium reported.
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The report said the bride branded the groom’s penis a “hairy, scary cucumber” far too big for her to handle, and feared it would destroy her vagina.
Groom Mnombo Madyibi – nicknamed Anaconda by pals because of his big penis – ended up with a bandaged head after his new wife bashed him with a wine bottle, he said.
“All was well and she enjoyed the foreplay.
“But all hell broke loose the moment I took off my underwear.
“My wife said she wanted a 4-5 inside her, not an anaconda.
“When I tried to penetrate her, she bit my ear before squeezing my balls.
“Before I knew it, she knocked me over with a bottle of wine before attempting to suffocate me with a red and white teddy bear I’d bought her as a gift.” the 32-year-old groom was quoted by the paper.
Mnombo, who earned his Anaconda nickname after his soccer mates saw his penis in changing rooms, added: “I’ve only heard of penis enlargement and not penis shrinking.”